It is a joyful time in my household, as the next generation is beginning to plan weddings and get married. It struck me the other day how much weddings can reveal the nature of God.

For starters, weddings are a binding of two souls together. This might be the closest thing we have to explaining the Trinity. God is three distinct natures, yet is one. A marriage is two people made into one flesh.

“‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh (Jesus is quoting Genesis 2:24 here).’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:7-9

We are somehow bound together with another human being and made into one. Two individuals become one. What would you call the one? One union? One partnership? A marriage?

Regardless, we tend to recognize the two individuals but do not fully honor the one. We call them a couple, recognizing their individuality, but we rarely consider their oneness.

This partnership is also an echo of the covenant God made with us. It points toward the love of the Trinity. Technically, God made four covenants with humanity, we failed to be faithful in our partnership, and God fulfilled our part of the covenant for us in Jesus.

I tend to forget that my life— my destiny— is bound up in what happens to my wife. There is a figure of speech which says “Happy Wife, Happy Life,” but I believe it goes both ways. Your joy and happiness is bound up in the joy and happiness of your spouse because you are one.

A covenant says “no matter what.” There is a fabulous assurance that comes with covenantal love. It is an assurance that says you do not have to be perfect, you just have to love and honor each other. A Covenant seeks the joy of the other above the self. It is self-giving, self-emptying, other-centered love.

Instead, we often reduce marriage to a contract. A contract says you need to keep up your end of the bargain. A contract keeps score. A contract says you need to make me happy. A contract has remedies and remunerations for breach of contract. A contract has obligations and responsibilities.

A covenant, on the other hand, has invitations and the ability to respond (respond-abilities). You are invited into a fuller life; a more honest life, because there is the assurance of love— no matter what.

A covenant is an intertwining of souls. A contract is an entangling of lives.

It is never our job to make the other person happy, but imagine if we each found ultimate delight in the joy of the other. Imagine if our utmost desire was to bring happiness to the other, often at great cost to ourselves.

This is how marriage is supposed to work; it is how we were designed to operate, because at the heart of the universe is a Triune God, each member of which has made the eternal delight of the others their ultimate heart-posture. 

AND, they have turned their hearts toward you as well.